Virginity is more of a social construct than a medical term. While medically virginity can’t be defined, still it is considered to be an important concept by many individuals. The concept is built on social beliefs and norms even if there is no scientific basis to it. Hence, you most likely have a belief or definition of virginity in your mind on the basis of the teachings of your parents and your religious beliefs (if you have any), etc. To most of us, virginity implies that you haven’t yet had sexual intercourse.

How Do You Know If You Lost Your Virginity?

For females, losing virginity only happens when their hymen-which is a fleshy, thin tissue inside their vagina, is broken during vaginal sex.

In your first sexual encounter, your hymen may stretch and open and even result in some bleeding and pain as well. In some females the hymen may break while fingering. You should keep this in mind that once broken the hymen do not have the tendency to form again. In certain females, the hymen does not break during vaginal sex if there isn’t deep penetration.

But what about those who are into girls and not guys? Does that imply that such females remain virgin eternally? Of course not! You can enjoy more intimacy in other activities such as oral sex than vaginal intercourse, but remember such activities also carry with them the risk of STDs.

Notes: Hymens can be broken during horse riding, bike riding or even during physical activities such as gymnastics. Hymen can also be broken during any foreplay which involves fingering by your boyfriend or even by your own self-exploration. Hence, a torn hymen cannot be taken as the only factor in females to answer the question how do you know if you lost your virginity.

What does losing virginity mean for a guy? The first time a guy has sexual penetration should be the time that he loses his virginity. Most of the time it means penis-in-vagina intercourse.

Tips for Reducing the Pain

Some pain may be felt during your first sexual encounter; however, you can improve things by spending some more time in foreplay. The more lubricated you are, the less pain you will feel during the sexual intercourse.

Stress can make things difficult and if you are stressed during your first sexual encounter, you may feel more pain because it decreases the lubrication. You are required to relax and to feel calm to avoid experiencing pain during sex.

On the contrary, males do not experience pain during vaginal sex unless there is lack of lubrication.

Other Things You Should Know about First-time Sex


Not all women bleed like a stab wound during the first sexual encounter. There is almost no bleeding in some females, though some females bleed a lot. The blood comes from tearing of the hymen and all females have different amounts of this fleshy tissue. There is no way to predict clearly how much you will bleed.


Using lube can make the experience so much better. A little extra slickness can help you feel everything smoother and more pleasurable. You should try a silicone-based or water-based lube as oil-based lubes can make the latex condoms less effective.


Having an orgasm the very first time should not be the goal. Getting to experience and know each other’s bodies is also a part of a sexual experience. Moreover, females probably won’t have an orgasm during the first time. According to research, females are less likely to orgasm during sex in comparison to males.

Additionally, people are more likely to reach orgasm during sex when they are in a relationship than in a hookup situation. That means you are more likely to have orgasm if you know your partner more both emotionally and physically.


Males may reach orgasm quite quickly during first sexual encounter.


You should use protection: Even if you are having sex for the very first time, it is quite possible that you can get pregnant if the penis ejaculates inside the vagina. Hence, it is important that you think about using a birth control method before having sex. Using a condom is recommended as it not only provides protection against pregnancy but also protects against STDs.

Stories of Losing Virginity

Let us read some stories of girls and boys of losing their virginity in the quest to answer the question how do you know if you lost your virginity:

I lost my virginity when I was a teenager. I was 15 years of age and he was 19 years of age. We both had not had sex before. I had previously indulged in giving blow jobs and some fingering. I was quite prepared for the experience. I did not experience pain but it was not a good experience as I was not aroused. However, we discussed about it later and then had pleasurable sex.

My first sexual experience was much unexpected. I was hanging out with my crush and the whole thing happened so fast. I had bleeding afterwards between my legs. He was rough and not gentle. I walked in a weird manner for the rest of the night. I walked normally from the next day. It was not as painful as I was told it would be.

It hurts at first, but then you become familiar and then it feels amazing. However, make sure that you use protection.

I had my first sex with my first love. During a party in my house we had it in my bedroom. I was on top of him and did not experience any pain and there was no bleeding. The experience was a wonderful one and I even reached orgasm.

A Boy’s Story:

I lost my virginity while I was 17 years old. It happened in the parking lot of my dorm in a car. The entire experience was horrible because I was in a rush and it was the first time I was doing it, so I wasn’t clear as to what to do.


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