We all have to go through the phases of relationship insecurity at some point in life. When it comes to closest relationships, these insecurities can prove to be really toxic. Studies have proved that people with low self-esteem are more likely to suffer from this condition. And no one but the person having these internal fears, has got the power to overcome it.

Ways to Overcome Insecurities in Relationship


Know the Underlying Causes of Feeling Insecure

In the first place, it is essential to know the possible causes of this feeling. Many victims blame their partners to be the reason. But that is not always true. In most of the cases, feeling insecure is something that comes from within. It is nothing but your ‘inner voice’ that always misleads you. This might be the outcome of some bitter experience from your past (a tragic breakup, unhealthy relationship with parents, an unusual/abusive childhood) that is making you think so negatively. Besides that, sometimes comparing your life with others’ too, results in the feelings of insecurity. Check out the ways to deal with this issue.


Maintain Your Identity

The first step is to get rid of low self-esteem. Before becoming a part of this relationship, you are an individual with your own identity. Don’t let your personality merge into your partner’s. Get yourself some time to flourish your individuality. The best ways to do that; you must have your own financial independence, improvise your skills, spend time in your favorite activities or with your closest friends. When you have all such things going on, it automatically raises your charm in your partner’s eyes and you yourself will feel confident and more secure.


Be Positive!

No relationship is perfect. Maybe you are dreaming of a perfect bonding but you don’t have one (none of us has). That too may cause insecurities in relationship. Learn to live with imperfections. Stop focusing on the negative things happening in your relationship. The day you start doing that, you will definitely become a better version of yourself. And it would automatically bring a positive impact on your relationship.


Be Independent!

You can’t depend on your partner for everything. Sometimes they listen, sometimes they don’t. And that makes you feel rejected and insecure. Enhance your capabilities and try your best to complete tasks on your own. It’s a great way to boost your self-confidence. An independent and self-esteemed partner is always more appreciated.


Open Up about What’s Bothering You

Keeping things confined to yourself would only increase your insecurities. Be willing to share, and talk with your partner about the things bothering you. To get the most out of it, you are advised to pick the right moment. Talk when you two are in good moods or sharing some loveable moments together. Never start discussion by using the phrases like ‘YOU always make me feel rejected…’, instead, give it a start with the words like, ‘I sometimes feel insecure because…’ Avoid discussing things in the middle of some heated arguement, it would only add fuel to fire.


Listen to Their Perspective

Once you are into a discussion, you can’t just impose your own thoughts on your partner. Relationship is a two-way road, if you really want things to work out positively, you must learn to accept your partner’s perspective as well, no matter how hard it is for you.


Stop Judging

If you have been a victim of some abusive or failed relationship in the past, that does not mean that you will always experience the same. If some act of your current partner reminds you of a bitter experience from your past relationship, that is no reason to get defensive or insecure. Talking with your partner about this would be helpful in getting out of the negativity and insecurities in relationship.


Stop Assuming

Many times, we assume things that do not exist at all. This happens when our mind yearns for love all the time, but don’t get it. To solve things, you need to accept these ups and downs as an integral part of relationships. Just know that some days are good, some are bad. Next time your mind tries to weave the worst-case scenarios, just hold your breath and make yourself know, ‘there is nothing true in what I am assuming. It is just the creation of my mind.’


Give them Some Space

When anxiety in relationship causes lack of communication, you try to read your partner’s mind. When your partner is silent, you constantly assume what he/she would be thinking. This would add more to your insecurity. So, next time when you have a troubled day, don’t act like some spy. Your partner too is an individual who has the right to have private thoughts. Just give him/her some space and wait for the right time to discuss.


Overcome Your Fears

If you have some fears of abandonment, try hard and get them replaced with positive and secured feelings. If you can’t discuss issues with your partner, open up to some trusted friend or family member about it. Getting someone else’s (trusted one) opinion would be a great help in overcoming the baseless fears.


Show More Love!

Overcome those differences and arguments between you two and it would automatically decrease the insecurities in relationship. Be more expressive and empathetic. Let them know that you love them. It would bring positive changes on both sides.


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