Dating can always be a challenge, and having a greater understanding of the person you are dating is essential for making the relationship last. This is even truer when you find yourself dating someone who is an introvert. Introvert individuals tend to be miscategorized as shy and guards, and they become drained when in large social settings. This is why introverts can be a little more hard to understand. If you are dating an introvert, you want to take the first step to knowing how to compliment this type of personality. Read this article to learn some tips and helpful hints to make your relationship with an introvert last.
Helpful Tips to Date an Introvert
Skip the clubs and crowds
Introverts can't tolerate loud environments for too long. Clubs and places with large crowds aren't really their idea of the perfect date. Introverts quickly get exhausted from too much social interactions. When planning your date, keep it low key, or expect your date to have to go outside or leave early.
Plan a fun activity
Just because you’re planning a low key date doesn't mean it can't be fun. Simple outings are what your introvert really enjoys, so a museum trip, painting class, nature walk, or a local cafe are all great date ideas. Pick a new hobby that you can try together!
Have a list of questions
When it comes to dating, the most awkward part is trying to find the right conversation starters. Your introvert won't do well with small talk about the weather or most recent celebrity scandal. Instead, have a list of question ready that will get your introvert to think like asking them about a book that has influenced their life or their favorite childhood memory.
They will need an escape plan
When your introvert does attend parties with you, understand that they will need to leave early. While you may love all the socializing and entertainment, your introvert will tire quickly. You'll need to have some kind of plan in place in case your introvert needs to slip out. You won't have to leave together, but you will have to be understanding that your introvert will need to re-coop and rest.
Understand their limits
Dating an introvert will require getting to know them. Pay attention to when social scenes start to wear on them and what will tire them out more. Some introvert will handle small talk others will tire quickly from having to shake hands and smile. Know what their limits are and how much time they will need to recover before they can go out and socialize again.
You can spend quiet time together
Just because your introvert needs time to recover doesn't mean you can't spend this time together. While your introverts need quiet time to relax, you can still be with them. Sitting together in a room while they read and you play your video games can be negotiated. You can still stay physically connected during these times which will help you introvert feel more comfortable.
Don't make them feel bad for wanting to stay in
Introverts will often prefer to stay in and if you pressure them to go out with you all the time, your relationship won't last. While they may agree to join you on a few social outings, don't expect them to all the time. Even when you are out, understand that they will most likely shy away from conversation and drift to the sidelines.
They don't want to be left out
It isn't that introverts don't like going out, it is just that they can often times only handle small amounts of socialization. You might think you are doing them a favor by not inviting them out to every event or party, but this can also make an introvert feel lonely. Dating an introvert might mean you will get turned down a number of times when you ask them to go with your somewhere, but you will also be surprised by how many they do say yes to.
Their downtime can be beneficial to you
Introverts need their downtime and this can be something you might benefit from doing as well. Taking the time to just sit quietly and listen to your own body or focus on your breath can help reduce stress and anxiety. It can also help you feel re-energized and more focused. When your introvert needs time to recover, take a few minutes for yourself as well.
Encourage them to explore new things
Sometimes introverts need a little extra encouragement to try something new. If you have something fun and exciting that you've been wanting to try, then talk to them about doing it with you. They might need to be pushed a little, but some introverts need the extra push to help them step outside their comfort zones and to test the limits. You will be happy then.
They aren't big on public displays of affection
Introverts aren't keen on drawing attention to themselves and being affectionate in public would do just that. You don't want to constantly be kissing, hugging, or catering to them. Keep affectionate gestures at a minimum and stick to small gestures.
Slowly introduce them to friends and family
You want your introvert to get to know the people you are closest to, but you don't want to get everyone together at the same time. Your introvert will need to slowly be introduced to your friends and family, so they don't feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. When dating an introvert, keep you group outings on the smaller side and don't throw a big surprise get together in one time.
Communication is key
Your introvert isn't going to make the first move and for the most part, they aren't very good at showing you how they feel. It is important that you communicate with your introvert so you can both be on the same page.
It can be difficult to date an introvert when you don't understand their needs. If you aren't able to handle the amount of time they need to be alone, then it might not be the right relationship for you. The best thing you can do when you are in a relationship with an introvert is to be understanding and make them feel safe with you.
You need to find the balance in your relationship with an introvert, which can require a lot of patience. Knowing when to give them space and when to encourage them to step out their comfort zone can be difficult. When you can show you have patience, then your relationship will grow and your introvert will feel more connected to you.