Being in a long-term relationship will take you and your partner through some of the greatest moments in your lives and some of the most traumatic, too. Your partner will often turn to you first when they get good news and bad ones. While this is a great indication of how strong your relationship is, this can also be an overwhelming position to be in. When they turn to you when they are grieving, you may be lost as to how to help them through this difficult time. This can be challenging, but with the tips in this article, you can be there better when he needs you the most.
How to Be There for Your Boyfriend When He's Grieving?
Let them cry it out
Crying is a part of the grieving process, and most guys try to hide the tears. You want to be supportive when your boyfriend is grieving even if it means sitting with them as they cry it out. Avoid telling them not to cry as this is often taking as you’re saying they aren't allowed to feel how they feel.
Your number one response is going to be “everything will be OK”. While this can seem like the best thing to say, it isn't very genuine and your partner is probably thinking things won't be OK. It is better, to be honest with them and let them know that you’re not sure how you can help or what to say, but that you are there to support them in any way possible.
When your partner is grieving, the best thing you can do is simply be there for them. You don't need to find the right words to say, just be there. Spend time with your boyfriend in silence and let him go through his grieving process with the comfort of knowing that you are there for him.
How to be there for your boyfriend when he's grieving? It will require you let your partner know that you are there for them whenever they are ready to talk, even if it means they’re saying the same thing over and over.
Take on more of the responsibilities
Whether it's doing the grocery shopping or doing more of the cooking, your partner needs you to step up more for them. While they are grieving, it can be hard for them to think about the little daily tasks they need to do, so take the lead and do it for them at that time.
Be the go-to person
If your boyfriend has lost a close family member, they are bound to be bombarded with phones calls, messages, gifts and more. While they are all sweet gestures, this can be incredibly difficult for your partner to handle. Step up and be their spokesperson so they can focus on healing.
The grieving process will last a long time
Yes, eventually they will stop crying. They will get back into the regular routine they used to have. They will even laugh and smile again, but the grief they feel will always be there. Be understanding that this grief can return for years to come especially around significant dates like holidays, birthdays or anniversary.
Everyone handles grief in their own way, how your boyfriend deals with it may not be the way you would deal with it and that is OK. If you want to help your boyfriend through this difficult time that, you need to let him handle the grieving process in his own way, but reassure him that you are there for him.
Give them space
How to be there for your boyfriend when he's grieving? It might mean giving him space. Most people will tend to withdraw socially and physically when they are dealing with a loss. You don't want to push into his personal space as he retreats to handle the loss, instead, give him the space he needs while reminding him that you will be there when he is ready.
Don't solve problem instantly
Your first instinct may be how you can fix things for them and make them feel better, but what your partner needs is a stress release, not a problem solver. Chances are they have already stressed enough and are overwhelmed by the loss that they just need a long hug or good laugh.
Let them be selfish
Your partner might not ask you how your day was, or what's for dinner, most of the time, they are stuck just thinking about their loss that nothing else really comes to mind. Don't be too offended when all of your needs are not being met, things will return to normal.
Validate his feelings
Avoid telling him that you know how he feels because the truth is you don't know how he feels. You say you know how you would feel in his situation, but that is through your own experience. Allow your partner to feel what he needs to and always remind him that you are there to listen, talk and help when he is ready or needs it.
What Can You Say to Your Grieving Boyfriend?
While there are plenty of things you can do to support your boyfriend in his time of grieving, you will often struggle for the right words to say to him. How to be there for your boyfriend when he's grieving includes knowing the right words to say. Here are some suggestions that fit well.
This must be hard for you.
It's hard to understand why these things happen.
I'm not sure what to say but know that I am here for you.
I can tell that you miss them terribly.
I'll be here for as long as you need me to be.
This must be very painful for you.
I know how much you cared about them.