Many people suffer from being shy and if you are one of them, you have probably been struggling to overcome it. Shyness is a result of certain triggers but can be worked through once you are able to change your perspective and mental state when faced with certain circumstances. You don't have to let your shyness hold you back. Then how to overcome shyness? This may involve breaking out of your shell and working through your discomforts. While it may take some time, you will learn a few ways to conquer your shyness after reading this article.

Effective Tips to Overcome Shyness


Know what triggers your shyness

Many people have situations that trigger their shyness. To properly overcome shyness, you need to first learn what situation trigger it because you will then overcome it easily. Some common triggers include being in front of an audience, learning something new, being in new surroundings, being surrounded by new people or being somewhere where you may not know anyone. When you compare these triggers to situations you are comfortable with, you may find that often what makes you most uncomfortable is not knowing the people. But if that is the problem, why do you care about them? 


Don't focus on yourself

One of the best ways to overcome your shyness is through compassion. Often people are more shy when they want to speak up since they don't want to embarrass themselves. When you shift your attention to someone else, however, we become less shy since the focus is on someone else. By gaining a better understanding of others, you will become less concerned about how embarrassed you may feel and instead shift the mind to focus on making others feel better.



When you know you are going to be in a situation that tends to make you more shy, it is best to train your brain to think of yourself being successful in this situation. Close your eyes and do you best to visualize yourself in your shy situation with as much detail as possible. Vision yourself being confident, happy and comfortable in the situation. While it may seem silly, starting to shift your thoughts to more positive ones is really helpful when asking how to overcome shyness.


Stop comparing yourself to others

Shyness often occurs when you compare yourself to those around you. It is not uncommon for people who are shy to feel as though they do not measure up to others, which reduces their confidence more. Understand that even the most confident and outgoing people struggle with their own insecurities as well and just because they seem incredibly confident doesn't mean inside they are not struggling just like you.


Know your strengths

While you may not be the most confident one speaking in a crowded room, you might be an exceptional listener. One way to help overcome shyness is by identifying your strengths in different situations. Maybe you have an eye for detail, maybe you're great at organizing people... chances are there are strengths you have that you never took notice of before. Learn your strengths and use them to your advantage when you begin to feel anxious or uncomfortable.


Be mindful of your body language

Even if you feel shy, you can always pretend to be more confident through you body language. Simply standing up tall will not only convey that you are confident but will help you feel more confident as well. You also want to appear approachable which will make others feel more comfortable around you. Try to avoid sitting or standing with your arms crossed as this gives the impression that you are more closed off and will make others more hesitant to come up to you.



Like dealing with many problems, learning how to overcome shyness will take practice. You can begin by practicing talking to yourself in a clear and audible tone. Look in the mirror and be mindful of your body language and look up at your reflection. Work on keeping a smile on your face as well as making eye contact and you will feel more comfortable in situations where you are around others you may not know well.


Set goals

While you can practice in front of a mirror and continue to tell yourself you want to overcome being shy, you won't get far if you don't set actual goals that will move you out of your shyness. Make goals that you can stick with that will challenge you to be more open. Consider talking to one new person a day, signing up for an improv class or going to more social events. The more you get comfortable with situation that makes you shy, the quicker you will get over being shy in these situations.


Get out of your comfort zone

Along with setting goals you want to make sure you step out of what is always familiar for you. While you can begin with familiar settings or with more people you know, eventually you need to step away from what you are always comfortable with. Say “yes” to more situations where your shyness would keep you from doing something you might otherwise enjoy. Consider joining different groups that revolve around things that interest or speak up more in front of people.


Don't be hard on yourself

Not everything you say is going to come out perfectly, you might trip sometimes and you might find yourself resort back to your shy ways every once in a while. Even you know how to overcome shyness, the success isn't going to happen overnight. It is OK to make mistakes, but don't put yourself down when you make them. Instead, focus what you can do differently next time and get back out there and try again.



When you are more prepared in situations that make you shy and anxious, the more confident you will be. So if you know you have to present in front of a group of people, take the time to prepare for it. If you are going to a social event, have some conversation starters in the back of your head that will make it easier for you to approach people. By keeping yourself informed and prepared, you will be less shy and more excited to talk to more people.


Find your own comforts

As you continue to break away from being shy, you will learn new situations that make you feel more comfortable and confident. You will also begin to be more comfortable and confident with yourself. It is important to remember these things which not only make you feel comfortable but also feel pride of the strengths and uniqueness you offer.


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