It is always awkward and sometimes complicated to let someone know you're not interested in them. Whether it is someone asking you out that you aren't into or it is someone you have been dating that you no longer feel a connection with, it is never easy to let them down without hurting their feelings a little bit. While there is no foolproof way to breakup with someone or turn them down that will spare you of feeling uncomfortable, rejecting a girl without causing too much heartache and disappointment can be done.
How to Reject a Girl Politely
Approach Her Directly
The best way to let a girl down is to just be upfront to her face about it. While some women may not handle the rejection well, this is still the best course of action. Avoid getting roped into any petty insults that she may throw at you and take the high road by simply saying you're not interested if she asks you out. If you are dating someone and you don't think things are working out, then it is best to let her know your feelings sooner rather than later.
This approach allows you to make sure your message is clear and she won't be able to take things the wrong way or be lead on. This also allows you to get your feelings off your chest more quickly. However, use this approach with caution since women can become incredibly defensive when they are being turned down and you may be bombarded with a list of questions you might not enjoy getting stuck answering.
If going the direct route is not the best choice, especially if you know the girl can be sensitive and won't handle the rejection very well, giving her some hints that you aren't really interested can be your choice. Then how to reject a girl by giving her hints can include:
Not returning phone calls.
Not engaging in conversations.
Not responding when she asks to meet in the future.
Tell her you're not really interested in a relationship at the moment because you just ended one.
Let her know you are focused on your career and aren't interested in starting a relationship.
Tell her you are already talking to someone else.
Tell her you've been talking with your ex and trying to get back together with her.
By giving her these subtle hints, she should get the message that you aren't interested in dating her. With this approach, you don't necessarily reject her; instead you give her the impression that you are already preoccupied elsewhere and that starting a new relationship is not a top priority. Unfortunately, this approach can also mean you string her along for longer than you would like. She might misinterpret some of the hints and take it as you aren't ready right now but will be interested in dating her in the future. One major setback to this approach is that some women can become incredibly resentful towards guys who aren't just straightforward and honest which can lead to more drama than you bargain for.
General Rules to Follow When Rejecting
Honesty is the best way to go.
How to reject a girl without hurting her too much is best done with honesty. While the direct approach can be the most difficult way to go, it is best to just let her know as soon as possible that you have no intentions of pursuing a romantic relationship with her. You'll have to be honest with yourself as well. While you may want to give her a chance if you are feeling a connection with her, it is best to end things as quickly as possible. You don't want to waste your time or hers when you know the relationship isn't going anywhere.
How would you want to be treated?
When considering letting her down as easily as possible, consider how you would feel if you were in her position. Would coming out and just telling her “no” sound too harsh? Consider the courage it took for her to ask you out in the first place. Remain polite and show some appreciation for her intention to go out with you, because chances are that is how you would want someone to turn you down. Have a calm tone when you approach her and never do it in front of a group of people which will only cause embarrassment.
Make it about you
When you are turning someone down, you might feel the need to explain why you aren't interested. While this can sometimes make it easier for them to accept you want to refrain from statement, it sounds like they aren't up to your standards. Always use “I” statement over “you” statements and explain your perspective instead of putting them down.
How to reject a girl can end up being a long drawn out process if you are not clear and final with your decision. You want to be nice about it, but don't give them the impression that this is a temporary decision. While you may be tempted to say things like “let's get to know each other first”, if you aren't interested in dating them at all, avoid saying such things. These statements are only confusing and if you don't mean them, it will end up blowing up in your face.
Don't tell her friends
Telling her friends to tell her you're not interested is a juvenile way to let her down. You'll look like a coward if use her friends to relay the message.